Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand

January 29, 2007
Fans of CSI and Court TV, your book has arrived: a chronicle of the most unusual, macabre and malodorous experiences from 10-plus years of crime scene investigation. Baltimore Police Department CSI Kollman has the enthusiasm, wit (she dedicates the book "to all the bugs I've loved before") and natural storytelling ability to make this memoir sparkle-not easy for a text devoted largely to death and decay. Kollmann aims to educate those with "a Hollywood mentality about a Hell's Kitchen kind of job," and to that end she accentuates glamourless, largely drama-free case-solving. Thankfully, however, there's no lack of adventure: Kollman gets her title from a mishap she suffered while trying to get prints on a bitterly cold night, huffing on the fingers of an accident fatality. At another scene, a rotating ceiling fan flings down grisly bits of a suicide victim's head; at another, maggots are already devouring a body as Kollman tries to get photos. Amid consideration of office politics and her long-suffering family ("literally sickened by my job"), crime-scene anecdotes can get bogged down in details; luckily, Kollman's bright prose, which achieves an approachable, chick-lit tone without sounding flip, makes this squirm-inducing tale highly enjoyable. Photos.